I first met Marilyn when she was introduced as my team supervisor one
month after I just started working for the Administration of Children’s
Services which was then in 1988 called Special Services for Children.
I was thrilled to have Marilyn as my supervisor. I was still a rookie
and my previous supervisor was indifferent.
Marilyn had a casual style of working and probably living. She never
made me or anyone feel uncomfortable. If we had a problem with a case, she
was very helpful and understanding, When I got promoted as a supervisor myself,
I think I copied some of her style.
I never socialized with her outside, but at work we talked a lot about
things ranging movies to politics. Marilyn did have a circle of friends from work with whom she stayed in touch socially to the end of her life.
Before and after her retirement in September of 2005, I would often talk
to Marilyn about the absurdities of our agency. She was glad she was gone
when I would tell her about the latest nonsense that was going on.
When Marilyn retired, she was already diagnosed with liver cancer but
she never told me. She told me she was ill but not how badly until the last few
months of 2007. However, when I spoke to her, she was always upbeat. Never
dwelling on her dire condition until she had to. I knew how sick she was when
a friend of hers, who also retired, mentioned it to me. I agreed that I
would keep that information to myself.
I spoke to this person because I faxed my resume to him since he had a
fax machine and Marilyn said she would forward it to someone she knew at New
York’s Human Resources Administration. At that time, everyone’s job at ACS was
at risk of being lost or replaced and she was trying to help me find a new
one if I had to.
In January, while she sadly was dying, but didn’t realize how soon, I
commiserated with Marilyn over the sudden death of a second brother of mine in
17 months. I didn’t expect it, because it wasn’t Marilyn’s style but she sent
me a sympathy card. A month earlier, she sent me a Christmas card.
Marilyn wasn’t particularly excited about Christmas, but she was
enthralled by Halloween. She loved having bats by her desk and wearing a witch’s
hat. I wish I had pictures of that.
Marilyn was someone who dressed down. A sneakers and jeans person. There
was a very brief period when I worked for her that she showed some flash
and wore dresses. I would even tease her about it. I guess she wore them
because she lost a little weight. I remember telling her that I didn’t realize she
had a waist. She wasn’t overweight at all. She just wanted to lose a few
pounds.
I know that at some time, I think it was in the middle of her ACS career,
Marilyn did a job change and worked for DEA but didn’t care for it. She
thought they were sexist, but she didn’t seem angry about it.
When something silly at work happens, I wish I could pick up the phone
and speak to her and I’m dismayed that I can’t. I guess I still need time to
get over her loss. I’m sure there are other things about Marilyn that I could mention, but
then this could go on forever.
Thank you for wanting my thoughts.
Vincent Adrien
